THE REAL ME: GUEST POST BY NICOLE WICK
We are excited to have Nicole Wick share with the POTSC community. She participated in the #REALME experiment and shares some of her thoughts below.
Guest Post by Nicole Wick:
A few weeks ago when everyone was showing off their #RealMe on Facebook and Twitter I quietly looked the other way and kept my lovely, professionally shot, and photoshopped profile picture up. The idea of showing my face first thing in the morning, free of make up and hair product didn’t bother me. It isn’t a sin to look tired, or plain, or blotchy. It isn’t even a sin to be ugly.
However, it is a sin to be fat.
And that’s me. I’ve struggled with my weight for years, as long as I can remember really. I grew up on my mom’s southern cooking; fried meats, sweet tea, and home made mac and cheese. I was always able to keep it somewhat under control… that is until I got pregnant. Women? Do you hear me on this one? Yeah, I thought so.
Anyhow, in addition to carrying around 25 extra pounds of post-delivery baby weight I also fell into a part postpartum/part dealing with my husbands porn addiction depression. A deep depression that I attempted to cure the old fashioned way: with food. The ooey, gooey comfort foods I grew up on. And as I “coped” the 25 pounds became 100. Yikes.
So, that’s the #RealMe. And I hate it. As I struggle to eat the right things, exercise, and avoid treating depression with ice cream I need a second chance. A second chance from people who make jokes, or assumptions, or judgements.
But, seriously, more than that I need to give myself a second chance. I need to get ok with me. The #RealMe. I have what sometimes seems like an infinite capacity to show grace to others. No matter what they have done. But I have an incredibly difficult time showing that grace to myself. And I know that I’m not the only one.
This is my second chance.
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i love this woman… my dear friend, Nicole. thank you for allowing her this space to share her story. she’s not her weight. she’s a woman with an extraordinary testimony… may the enemy never make her feel she isn’t worth all that God has in store.
Nicole … love your post … your words … and your heart!
Nicole is a great woman and she’s doing some amazing things for God. Thanks for giving more people a chance to see how brilliant she is!
i understand perfectly all that you said… but i have never given myself a second chance. i think i am afraid.
Nicole-
Your courage and authenticity is so inspiring! You are beautiful…inside and out!
Traylor
Awww… I love my peeps! Thanks for the kind words my friends. I feel warm inside
Nicole is awesome… and the part about the southern food made me hungry.
Nicole, I totally understand the feeling of not being thin or beautiful, and numbing pain with Death by Chocolate ice cream. I still struggle with that. Thanks for letting us see the real you.
You just described me. 100 pounds overweight. 100 pounds heavier than the day I met my husband. And that, my friends, is what the medical community calls morbidly obese. Others? Fat.
Mine started with a devastating back injury when I was only 30. My baby had just turned 1. I was active and healthy. One day I stepped into a pair of pants & my back went out. Just like that. First surgery in 1988. Did all the “right” things. Happened again & 1 level up. 2nd surgery in 1999. Pain worse, but in a dif place. Surgery solved 1 problem & a 2nd appeared. Lots of drugs. Lots of PT & massage. Then addiction. 50 pounds went on in the 1st 6 months of recovery. That was AFTER surgery #3 in 2007. And now? I have trouble standing to cook dinner, but I do it without drugs. And for that I am glad. But, I feel so terribly unattractive as the “real” me. It almost haunts me at times. I love food. I took a pic of the “real” me & my face filled the screen. I was with Nicole. I kept my usual avatar up. But, I did enjoy looking at some of the rest of you!! Bwahahahaha!
Thanks, Nicole. You truly inspire me to be honest. With myself first. I am learning to like me in recovery. But, I know I can do better.
Nicole:
Thank you for your transparency my friend. As someone who struggles with food addiction myself, the self-loathing can be a familiar place.
I was singing the words to a worship song the other night, and the words “break my heart for what breaks Yours…” came up. The thought crossed my mind that my intolerance towards my own failings broke my Father’s heart. He holds grace, compassion and love towards me, His broken daughter. I need to see myself as He does— beautiful.
You are beautiful too, sister.
Nicole, I have been reading your posts for just a short time, but I love your honesty. You are beautiful.
i love crystals comment…youre not your weight.
oh friend…you are a dynamo of a woman. so strong, wise, loving and beautiful.
your authenticity here made me fall in love the real you even more.
Love your transparency, Nicole. Thank you for sharing …
Yes Nicole, you’re not the only one and many need to hear it. In some cultures, fat is beautiful. This western culture is absurd. Be healthy, what ever weight that’s at.
If we realized how powerful we are, we’d never have another negative thought!
LU,
David
You are a beautiful woman who has a true heart for serving God and others. Thanks for being so brave to share this post.
so thankful for you sharing nicole. incredible post. so glad you are part of this community. peace. mike.
Nicole, thank God Body Mass Index isn’t a requirement for salvation, redemption, restoration, love, grace, and peace.
May this second chance help you find all of those while you discipline your body fast from poor eating habits and feast on Christ.
Thank God for you Nicole! You are awesome
I love the courage you have to admit your struggles. We all have them. Some more external than others but there are there so it should be easier to just put it all out there knowing that sin is sin and no one’s sin is more than the others so why would anyone be anything other than supportive..right? Wrong, huh? I appreciate you and how you take a stand for what is really important in this life.
Nicole, love the honesty and openness.
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by BrenRenderos: People of the Second Chance: http://bit.ly/9Uw9WC via @addthis #fb…
nicole…you rock…digging the transparency…
Nicole, this is a powerful post. I’m sure there are many of us who need to learn to accept God’s grace for ourselves before we’re ever going to understand how to let it overflow to others.
Nicole I have tears in my eyes right now after reading this post. (as after reading lots of your posts) I really wish I could throw my arms around you and hug you and cry! (someday…)
You have such a beautiful spirit. I am going to pray like crazy for you, that you will allow God to open up those secret places of your heart, and heal them.
You need to know that you DESERVE the best for yourself- not because you really deserve it, but because HE loves you more than you can imagine! It’s so hard to let Him fill those places we fill with food.
I love you, my friend!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by mike foster, Sarah @ ReaL Life, Nicole Wick, Nicole Wick, Nicole Wick and others. Nicole Wick said: RT @glen_allison: @nicolewick calls it her most uncomfortable post. http://bit.ly/buOd3O // Accepting grace for ourselves// Thanks! [...]
It’s not even weight issues people try and hide; it’s being older, or having bad skin, or losing hair. . . .
The one thing that frustrated me at a recent conference I went to was that I couldn’t recognize most of my online friends because their avatars were masks they hid behind on a daily basis.
Hi everyone,
I can’t believe the response I have gotten from this post not only here in the comments but also via my Facebook page, Facebook email, and Twitter. Thank you for all of your kind words, support, and encouragement.
And for all of those who wrote and said they could relate to this struggle, I’m praying that you would give yourselves a second chance too.
Blessings,
Nicole
I am sitting here drinking my coffee this morning as I read your words I feel as though I could have written them myself. Growing up abandoned and abused I turned to food for comfort. You are an inspiration to me as I struggle with my wieght as well. Now I have no choice but to shed the pounds, I was diagnosed with Type 2 Didabetes and I am only 29. I know that with Jesus’s arms around me I will overcome, but that doesn’t mean that the road will be easy. I have to help myself get and stay healthy for my daughter and my husband. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I feel now that I am not the only person in the boat.
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