ROTFC – RENEE OF THE FOURTH CHANCE
Today’s guest post is from Renee Johnson from Throwing Mountains and is the author of Faith Book Jes
If you read it too fast, you might have thought it said rolling on the floor laughing! Not even close. My story is one of horror, years of isolation, and God’s redemption. Or as POTSC likes to call it: radical grace.
I’ve always known from a young age that I was meant to do great things for God. I remember my parents buying me “Book of Bible Lists” when I was 7 so I could reach the orphans half-way around the world in Romania with the gospel. It was a child’s Bible concordance. It took me twenty more years to realize that we’re all spiritual orphans and God’s the only one who guarantees an 100% adoption rate. Talk about radical.
Then in Junior High I was home schooled (this time not by choice) because of severe anxiety, which all started when my parents (full time missionaries) left for a two week overseas trip. I felt abandoned. I don’t know why I ever would. My parents are SO Beaver Cleaver it’s not even funny.
I remember being forced to learn how to pray. My thoughts would race from “I’m too fat” to “I’m too scared” to “Nobody will ever love me” to “I’m too afraid to even leave the house.” I don’t wish that upon anyone, let alone a child—but God’s grace covered me even then.
High School wasn’t any better. I lost the skin off my feet and face due to severe eczema. I was one of “those” cases the doctors could never figure out. They gave me tons of drugs for it and I ballooned to a size 45-inch waist and gained over 100 pounds in ten months. This time I KNEW no one would EVER love me, nor would I EVER have a NORMAL life. Period.
Six years later (and I’m leaving out a lot of pain, heartache, wishing I were dead, having no life/friends) I moved to Texas to pursue missions full time. I totally jumped the gun. If God healed me then certainly He’d want me serving Him full time somewhere other than where I was living in California with my parents. Five months later, I lost the skin off my hands. Stupid Texas. Stupid weather. Stupid God. This time I really wanted to die. Why? What’s the point? I spent six years of my life reading the Bible EVERY day, journaling, everything—only to fail at serving God?
Three years later (mind, you that’s about 10 years of my life) I s-l-o-w-l-y got back into ministry. I bought a keyboard and played worship at my church. Thanks to mom and dad years of piano lessons paid off. I learned one thing: worship wins the war. Enough said! I praised God when he gave and took away, when the tears fall, and whatever other clever worship song title I can insert here.
But that wasn’t enough. I wanted more. My mentor at the time asked me, “Renee, the Holy Spirit wants to know—if you were well, what would you do?” I still have the card today. I wrote down: counselor, teacher, writer, speaker. Check. Check. Check. Check.
All those years of begging God to heal me paid off. I graduated from Biola University, I got the job of my dreams at Outreach Events helping to serve pastor’s nationwide by hooking them up with the best speakers and comedians—then if that weren’t enough got discovered on Twitter by NavPress and published my first book, a daily devotional for 20-somethings called “Faithbook of Jesus.” Or also known as “Those who plant in tears…” Faithbook is my Samuel. Everything I prayed and asked God for He’s answered. It was the best couple years of my life. Until…
About a year ago, I realized I couldn’t handle launching a ministry to 20-somethings while working at Outreach Events. Even though I had faced the worst 10 years of my life, nothing prepared me for when God called me to reach those who need Him (or also known as people who need a second chance).
![[Post to Twitter]](http://www.potsc.com/wp-content/plugins/tweet-this/icons/tt-twitter.png){kind=icon}
blog comments powered by Disqus
Recent Posts
Archives
#POTSC
+ View All
POTSC's Twitter
Recent Comments
Gabe Taviano says: Reminds me of the trip to Cambodia two months ago. ...
mike foster says: i will have to admit the first step into the ...
Alece says: it's not about running blindly, but about walking calculatedly and ...
Alece says: it's not about running blindly, but about walking calculatedly and ...
May God bless you again and again…May your future be bright!
Wo what a testimony. Thanks for sharing!
Wow. Thank you for sharing and laying your story out there.
My wife and I were discussing Rob Bell and Velvet Elvis last night when she said something profound to me.
God is neither late, nor early. He comes at just the right time. And you never know when that time will come. After he comes, as a believer, you'll realize later it was the perfect time.
Thanks for sharing Renee.
The power of God and the redemptive work is so encouraging and powerful.
Not only in my life but seeing the work in others.
Thank you for sharing you story so candidly. God's redemptive grace is hard to wrap our heads around but so freely offered to all of us. Thanks for showing us His grace at work in your life.
this is exactly why i think that you are a truly remarkable woman!
Worship always wins the war – that's such a great lesson to learn. As is self-forgiveness.
Thanks for sharing your story up to the fourth “chance”; we'll be following through a few more I'm thinking, unless you've grasped His radical grace far better than I have
God can heal and He always knows best, doesn't He? Thanks for sharing… I love honest stories like yours.
Your story is common to many of us who profess faith in Christ at an early age. Part of the journey, I am now convinced is moving out of a performance oriented (and hence guilt laced) faith and into one of grace. I made that move about 20 years ago. I appreciate you!
Renee, I think your last couple sentences say it best. It is so easy to fall short of our own expectations of ourselves. It sounds like you are really understanding what measuring stick you should be using -God's expectations for us. God's Grace covers the gap between where he wants us to be and where we are. He did not intend for it to bridge the gap between where we are and where WE wish we were. Thanks for your transparency. Thanks for reminding me that God gives us second chances.
great post renee! love it!! thanks for sharing your story with the POTSC community!
eczema! i had severe eczema on my hands as a young(er) adult and would hide them in conversation. it was tough leading people in worship through music while trying to hide my hands… very difficult. i haven't had a breakout in years;)
so back to you. wow! it almost seems unfair to sum up all of that in just a few paragraphs. thanks for sharing your thoughts and portions of your pain with us.
Julia,
I can't tell you the many times I went to church with wrapped feet, and tried to cover my hands, arms, face, etc. Not to mention the hundreds of hours in counseling, etc healing from the emotional scars of anxiety dealing with it all. Thanks for your comment. It's amazing to see God's healing powers shine through!
Thanks Mike! It's been an honor to see the comments come through and it even got me choked up as I remember living it. Wow. God is amazing. His grace….
Thanks for your comment Brian! I know I wake up every day wishing I was …, then when I read the Word I am reminded I am exactly where I am supposed to be! Thanks for your encouragement as well.
Thank you Mandie!
[...] Renee Johnson on radical grace. [...]
Renee, thank you for your testimony and your heart. I love what you are doing and the voice you are sharing with others. I wish examples had been available for me in my 20s. It is so encouraging to see you believing God is capable even when we are not, and that you are willing to risk it all to follow.
Thank you so much for your story. I also believe God has called me to do great things, especially through writing. By listening to His voice, I started a blog and through that blog I met the woman I'm going to marry next month.
Is God great or what?
Israel, that is AMAZING. Maybe someday the opposite will come true in my life
hehe praying for your upcoming marriage!
Thanks Sherie, I appreciate your encouragement and support!
Thanks Sherie, I appreciate your encouragement and support!
[...] or People of the Second Chance called Renee of the Fourth Chance. If you missed it, you can read it here. I have been more encouraged by those who read and responded to my story than almost any other blog [...]
Add your comment