Category Archives: Uncategorized

Posted by Mike Foster:

I was online today and I read some harsh comments about the fact that Ted and Gayle Haggard are appearing on Celebrity Wife Swap on ABC.

Unfortunately, this isn’t new for the Haggards. It seems like everything they do is scrutinized, dissected and put under the microscope.

I realize them appearing on a reality TV show about “wife swapping” just gives the peanut gallery another opportunity to throw the remaining rocks left in their pockets.

But consider another option. Maybe it is time to let Ted and Gayle move on with their lives and do whatever they want to do.

If they want to be on TV, start a church, walk on the moon, love each other, climb Mt. Everest, be awesome parents, do a film series, sit on their ass or start a company that makes vintage hand bags…why they hell shouldn’t they be able to do that?

The beauty of grace is that it gives us permission to move on. Second chances are rooted in the freedom of the future, not the painful mistakes from our past.

As Robert Downey Jr. said about his friend Mel Gibson, maybe it’s time to let them “stop hugging the cactus.” All I know is that I’m thankful that someone told me that I don’t have to hug the cactus anymore after all the messes I have made.

I’ve had the privilege of talking with Gayle a few times this year. She is an amazing woman. Strong, compassionate, kind and filled with grace.

A few years ago I interviewed Ted after the scandal and send occasional emails to him to let him know I’m praying for him and standing with him. He is a good man who loves God and is doing his best to rebuild his life. And honestly, it isn’t easy.

I say that to remind all of us that at the end of the day these are people just like you and me. Second chancers in the making! And whether it’s the Haggards or any other failed, flawed and hurting human being on this planet, we all need a fresh start.

Ted and Gayle, I wish you the best…and I will be tuning in.

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Parenting is tough.

The pressure to raise healthy, productive and happy kids can be intense.

Performance and parenting often go hand and hand.

Am I doing enough for my child? Can I give them more? Am I spending too much time at work? All these can stir up feelings of inadequacy.

Labels abound in parenting. Judgment is often brought by other parents. Mom on Mom judgment is pretty typical in social circles.

Some of the most cutting and hurtful things that can be said to us is about our relationship with our children. Especially where we have failed or fallen short.

A destructive label attached to being a Mom or Dad can be the most vicious of all. It is so personal…and it can really hurt.

Labels Lie. Don’t Accept Them. Don’t Use Them.

Dear Kim,

I know life is tough right now after filing for divorce from Chris.

I’m sure you’ve learned this, especially the last few days, that people can be very cruel and mean. Especially at a time when what you really need is love…a listening ear…and support.

I’m so sorry about that. You see, we just don’t realize that as we criticize and mock and say nasty things about you, we are really hurting ourselves. That it isn’t really about you Kim, it is about us.

Someone once told me “Hurt People…Hurt People.” It’s true.

For a bunch of reasons our own grace tanks are empty and so we act pretty childish sometimes.

So it’s just so much easier to hate on you then deal with our own crap.

I’m guilty too. I’m really good at pointing out other people’s failures, marriage problems and stupid decisions. I’m trying to change this about myself.

Cuz I’ve learned more recently that standing up for second chances, defending those who are getting beat up in life and sticking my neck out for those going through a hard time is a much sweeter way to live.

Kim, I know you don’t need any advice. You’re super smart and you’ve got a great family and lots of friends who love you. You already know you will come out of this stronger, wiser and more focused then ever on what’s truly important.

So just know that I and a bunch of People of the Second Chancer’s are cheering you on and screaming at the top of our lungs, “Damn the critics and long live second chances!”

Hang in there. We love you.

Sincerely,

Mike Foster (and a few thousand of his friends)

People of the Second Chance loves stories.  We seek out, curate, and publish your comeback stories to let the world see what scandalous grace looks and feels like.

Unfortunately, there are many people who aren’t in a position to share their story, but that’s changing.  Initiatives like Help-Portait are leading the way, and we wanted to give this amazing program a heartfelt shout-out!

Help-Portrait is a unique way for communities to come together and show people their value in a tangible way – with a portrait and a story.  These stories and images help spread the message of Help-Portrait: that our stories matter.

2011 has been a huge year for Help-Portrait, but they need your help moving forward.  We believe your tribe can connect with the spirit of Help-Portrait and will want to help spread the word.  How can you help?

• Five tweets on the behalf of Help-Portrait for the weeks of Nov. 7, Nov. 14, Nov. 21, Nov. 28 and Dec. 5. They’ll give you a list of ideas to tweet and remind you a few days prior.
• A blog post in November about the Help-Portrait event – they’ll give you video and photos to share if you’d like.

Find Help-Portrait on their website, Facebook, and Twitter for more info!

By Carlos Whittaker:

It has swag for days.
Designs as fresh as you will find.
I mean the concept behind this campaign is mind-blowing.
When I fist saw the Casey Anthony poster that Foster sent me, I set that as my desktop.

Casey Anthony.

She is gonna stare me straight in the eyes for as long as I can handle it.

It took me back to this post that I wrote a few weeks ago.
She is stunning in that picture.
Radiant even.
She looks capable of nothing evil.

The horror it must be for someone to know that they will ALWAYS be looked upon as evil. That they will ALWAYS be remembered by their sin.

I wonder what that feels like?

Maybe if I stare at her on my desktop for a few weeks I can feel her pain.

Then it happened.

My mind raced back to 10th grade and that moment I was almost allowed into the popular crowd, for a price.
And not a price I would pay.
I remember walking up to Ingrid Rowens and my heart beating out of my chest.
It was the last day of school and she was smiling from ear to ear.
She was packing her locker up with one of her friends and I could feel the eyeballs piercing my spine as I stepped closer.

They were watching.
Waiting.
Using me.
For their pleasure.

Just walk up to Ingrid, tap her on the shoulder, and ask her out.
Ingrid probably weighed 300.
Easy.
When she says yes, smile and say…”I’m kidding. Why would I go out with a fat b-tch like you?”

This had happened to Ingrid 2 times in 2 years. The first time was horrific.
The second time she cried before the guy even called her a fat b-tch.
It was always on the last day of school and this year was my year.
Her pain was their prize and I was their pawn.

“Hey Ingrid.  I know this is kinda awkward, but what are you doing Friday night?  Wanna hang out?”

Her face froze.

I knew in that moment that she knew.
This was the third time she had heard this question from a random guy and she knew what was coming.
And past the sky blue in her eyes, past the pain of her life, I saw her first choose to let me win, and gain the favor of those guys 20 yards behind me.
But then, on her face, the look was different.
Peaceful even.
Maybe she saw the doubt in my eyes.
The nervousness in my question.
I swear to this moment I saw her decide again.
I don’t know how I saw it.
But I did.

She made a decision to allow me a second chance.

A second chance at something I hadn’t even destroyed her with yet.

“I’d love to.” Ingrid said.
Knowing full well the verbal and emotional destruction that was to follow, I looked back behind me.
Then back at Ingrid.

“Cool.  7 o’clock ok?  Market Square Mall for a movie?”

I pretty much got my cool card for the summer revoked by going to the movie with the “fat b-tch”.

But while I might have missed out on most of the parties that summer, at least Ingrid won’t see the image below and have to be reminded to give radical grace.

It was a conscious decision that time with Ingrid. But there are plenty of times I didn’t take that path by my victim, and the image above could serve as a perfect desktop to remind, say, that guy in the Home Depot parking lot yesterday that the bald Panamanian who flipped him off is really deserving of grace.

We can put our mugs on any of these posters.

We all haunt someones grace limit.

Who could put up your poster and be reminded to give radical grace?