6 HARD TRUTHS ABOUT CARRYING HEAVY LOADS | People of the Second Chance

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Posted by Mike Foster:

When I was living in Bangkok this past summer, I had the opportunity to visit Hanoi, Vietnam.

So I woke early on a Friday morning to hop on an Air Asia flight.

As I was waiting in the airport to board the plane, a 40-something-year-old Vietnamese woman asked me to carry one of her bags.

Trying to be helpful, I politely obliged.

Then I reached down to pick the bag up and to my complete shock…THE BAG WAS FREAKING HEAVY! Not just sort of heavy…REALLY HEAVY!

In broken English she told me that the oversized duffle bag was stuffed full of books. Big, heavy books!

So here are a few things I learned that morning about helping people carry their bags. But also some truths about helping people carry their burdens.

1. CARRYING PEOPLE’S STUFF IS HARD
When I first said “Yes” to the lady, I thought it would be a simple task. No big deal and no sweat off my brow. I WAS DEAD WRONG! It was a big deal and it was heavy. At first it felt like I had been the victim of a con. Maybe I was. I broke a sweat, my arm hurt and getting the bag into the planes overhead compartment safely was a monumental task.

2. WE WERE CONNECTED
This agreement to carry her bag connected us. I was now with her and she with me. We walked together. We rode the shuttle bus to the plane together. I needed to keep her in my sights…and she needed to make sure I didn’t run off with her bag of books. Carrying someone’s load is a bonding experience.

3. CRITICISM IS PART OF THE AGREEMENT
As I was struggling to get the bag in the overhead compartment I could feel the glaring stares of people on me. I was holding up people in the aisle way as I struggled with the bag. I was awkward and clumsy. I accidentally bumped the guy next to me as I did my Olympic dead lift to get the bag properly stored overhead.

I could just imagine what people were thinking. “Why didn’t that dumb American just check that bag at the gate? He is holding us up! He is going to hurt someone with that bag!” I wanted to scream out, “IT’S NOT MY BAG! IT’S NOT MY BAG! IT’S HERS!” But I kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it.

4. BREAK THE RULES
So technically I should NOT of been carrying her bag. It’s an airline safety rule. But she needed real help and I wasn’t going to ignore her need because of some rule. I knew it wasn’t a bomb…it was books. Too many times we are guilty of following the rules instead of just helping.

5. SHE WAS UNABLE
When I picked up the duffle bag I instantly realized she was completely incapable of doing this on her own. Ain’t no way she is going to be able to carry this! She was helpless without some sort of assistance. I’m a 6′ 3″ male in fairly good shape and I struggled. Physically, she was just the opposite. She was small and more on the frail side.

Sure, maybe the Air Asia staff would of helped her but no one was stepping up to solve her problem. It was just me and her. Together we could do it. Her doing it alone? No way!

6. ALONG THE WAY YOU WILL WANT TO BAIL
So was my attitude perfect? Was I the model good Samaritan? Unfortunately, the answer is, “No.” At moments I got a little irritated. A couple times I just wanted to give the bag back to her. I had done enough. Someone else could take it from here. When helping people carry heavy loads, frustration and the desire to give up are a reality. But don’t give up. Don’t bail on them.

So what have you learned lately about helping people with their heavy loads?

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http://twitter.com/rfbryant Faye Bryant

Wow. What deep, deep truths in this. Much to ponder and digest.
I tend to be ADD about carrying others’ burdens. And my own.
Thanks, Mike.
http://twitter.com/ServingStrong Scott Couchenour

Oh, man. This is so rich. Thanks for sharing such keep insight into helping others. If there was a prize for the best blog post of the week (or longer) this would win, hands down.

Stay strong!
http://www.evangelicalmonk.com/apps/blog/show/5120568-hauerwas-on-performance Bill H

Wow great story. Putting flesh to the reality. Thanks for the sharing of this simple yet most powerful story. Making grace a living force.
http://www.cyndimonroe.blogspot.com Cyndi Monroe

Thanks, Mike for the timely insight. It does feel like there are lots of days when I want to say, “Carry your own freakin’ bag”, or more likely, “Who is going to carry MY bag?” I appreciated your honesty. Its nice to know that we are all a bit fragile at times – even tall guys with strong backs.
Joy

Thank you for posting this! I have been carrying somebody’s burden for five years, and I have gone through every one of the six points you mentioned. You are SPOT ON! Thanks you – in the last month I have started to see what God is doing behind the scenes, and I am so grateful I didn’t bail. My promise from God when I started off was Gal 6:9 – “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com @kylelreed

It takes something out of you as well. Just like you carrying the bag, it took effort and a lot of strength to do it. I think the same can be said when you are carrying or helping someone with a heavy load. It takes a lot out of you. Often times I think you have to know how far you can help or carry the load as well.
http://twitter.com/MikeFoster mike foster

thanks cyndi…you are spot on about the question that rings in our head about “Who is going to carry MY bag?” …thats soooo true!…and one that we must wrestle with at times…
http://twitter.com/MikeFoster mike foster

scott you are way too kind
http://twitter.com/MikeFoster mike foster

so true kyle! and being honest about the fact i think will really help us when carrying heavy loads…
http://www.roccocapra.com/ Rocco

This is so…WOW! This pretty much applies to everything not just a person’s “baggage”.

#6 Struck a cord. I can’t help but think that our “leave a tract on the urinal” Christianity has ingrained that mentality to “bail”, especially after we go beyond the point of “I’ve done my part”.
http://theoutlet.wordpress.com/ Sherie

Incredible post Mike! Thank you for again sharing your insights and wisdom.

The one other thing I have learned is that when there is a heavy load to carry, it is much easier to handle when you share the burden. Too often I think we experience what happened in your story, the burden is just passed to us and someone else is expected to carry it alone. What would have happened if the entire community of passengers on that plane would have each taken a book (a piece of the burden) and carried it? It would not have been as hard, you all would have been connected, criticism would be reduced, the rules probably would have to be completely redefined, there would be widespread acceptance that we need help in life, and camaraderie that you were all in the cause together, which fights the temptation to bail. Also, as Kyle stated, it takes a lot less out of you. It can be such a powerful experience when burdens are taken to the community instead of just to an individual so that together the community can lift the load.
http://www.mohan37.com/ mohan37

Great insight. One thing I’ve learned is that we should be careful that we’re not already carrying the same load ourselves. I’ve seen people end up down in the hole with someone they tried to help because they were stuggling with the same thing.
http://www.tonyjalicea.com Tony Alicea

This is SO good Mike. Number #2 stands out to me in particular. You really do form a connection when you walk through something with another person.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Silvan-Wolf/100000917820749 Silvan Wolf

Touching! Reality is always like going sane. Bread of life. Divine advise how to live.
How to live in love and glory.

Do you know what struck me the most?
That this EXACTLY desribes what Christ Jesus IS DOING for us!

He carries our heavy burdens and shame for us! Some so heavy only a God in flesh can carry.
He got not only criticism for it, but the wrath of the Father, His death sentence.
And, DID HE COMPLAIN ???

I myself are unable to carry my sinful burdens, unable to stand before God with them.

Oh how great THOU art!
Pat

I have found myself helping quite a few people carry their loads over the years and sometimes I’ve felt the same as #1. It’s so true! After sticking with them for a long time, I felt as though I’d been conned. I even noticed that they had enlisted many others to carry bags identical to the one I’d been carrying. But what was worst was when they they told me, ‘oh that bag, you could have dropped it a long time ago’.
http://twitter.com/MikeFoster mike foster

unfortunately i think alot of us have been there before
http://www.potsc.com/inspiration/6-hard-truths-haiti-style/ 6 HARD TRUTHS HAITI STYLE | People of the Second Chance

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