GRACE THAT MAKES PEOPLE FLINCH | People of the Second Chance

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Posted by Sarah:

7-year-old Kathleen Edward is dying from Huntington’s Disease, the same disease that killed her mother, Laura, at age 24.

Unfortunately for Kathleen, though, her coming death wasn’t enough to end a long-standing feud that a neighbor couple had with her now-deceased mother.

(The feud apparently started when Laura Edward failed to return a text message about a children’s birthday party in a timely manner.)

Nothing unusual there, right? We all occasionally feel slighted by others’ behaviors, yes?

These neighbors, though, took their grudge to some disgusting extremes. After Laura Edward’s death, for example, the neighbor wife posted doctored photos of the dying 7-year-old on her Facebook page. One picture featured little Kathleen in the arms of a grim reaper and another displayed Kathleen’s face as part of a skull and crossbones.

They also hitched a coffin to a pick-up truck and parked it on the street in front of the dying girl’s house (they have since claimed it was a Halloween decoration). As you can imagine, after the news story aired, everybody involved started reaping what they sowed. The adult bullies started getting death wishes of their own, their house got egged and the public started calling them “lousy excuses for humans” and saying they wished to meet them “in a dark alley.” (And those were the nicest comments.)

In fact, since the tape below aired, the bullying woman has been arrested for assaulting another neighbor and two of her children have been sent to live with their father. Reporters, of course, flew to these stories of the woman’s demise like vultures to a dying carcass while much of the public celebrated the bone-picking.

On the other hand, the outpouring of grace for little Kathleen Edward was monumental. Thousands of people attended a rally organized via Facebook in her support. And a local toy store owner–who reported being bullied as a child–gave Kathleen a shopping spree as a show of care and apology for her mistreatment.

I don’t know about you, but if you’re anything like me, you watch the video and read the end of the story with a sort of sick satisfaction. Like good, everyone got what was coming to them.

But you know what? Part of me is aware that my reaction, despite being defensive of a little girl, is still lacking. After all, feeling grace for the innocent, dying little girl is go-to-grace. It’s good and noble and right. But at the same time, it’s the easy end of the grace spectrum. The kind of compassion even the cut-throats among us can muster.

You know what big, deep, larger-than-life grace does? It finds mercy and understanding and encouragement for the vicious adult bully on the other end of the grace spectrum too.

Real grace finds a way to feel the same thing for that hurting, messed up neighbor lady as it does for the little girl.

Truly transformative grace is so inclusive, so everybody-in, that it makes the general public flinch at who it lets inside.

I’m not there yet, but the older I get, the more I hope to make people flinch at the kind of grace that comes out of me. You?

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http://www.mohan37.com/ mohan37

Our Christ-like-ness definitely needs to be judged based on grace towards
the perpetrator, not the victim, as hard as that is. Awesome post.

I actually wrote about two similar stories: the guy who posted the video of
the Rutgers student who then killed himself:
http://www.mohan37.com/?p=4030

And the school board member who posted a bunch of ridiculous posts on his
Facebook:
http://www.mohan37.com/?p=4407

Thanks again for the great post!
Sarah

@Mohan, I saw the schoolboard member one too. Same reaction. We love to hate, don’t we? With awareness comes change though… Here’s hopin’. =)
http://www.mohan37.com/ mohan37

For sure. Since writing about the guy who filmed the gay student, I’ve noticed that tendency to pounce on the perpetrator in myself, coming up all the time. Awareness has definitely made a big difference.
http://www.ponderingsanddiscoveries.blogspot.com Lauren

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Here’s my take: Like you, Sarah, I believe that grace has been provided for us all. And when God looks down on this sin-infested world of so many lost souls, He sees His children, who have been living under the lies of the enemy. And yes, they need His grace, love, peace, and SALVATION. In a controversial book I read (and loved, might I add), I was introduced to a different way of speaking about love. In “The Shack,” Papa, or God, always said that He was “especially fond of” whomever He was talking about. It made me see the term “love” in a new light. Since our society has downgraded the word to include things such as pizza, we have really lost sight of what it truly means. When I think of being especially fond of someone, or the whole of humanity, it sheds a new light on what that truly looks like. I firmly believe and know that God is extremely, especially fond of this woman, regardless of what she has done. We have all done despicable things in the eyes of God, and one sin does not ever trump another. So yes, I would extend to her the grace she deserves, because I know that if my dirty laundry was aired for the world, I would hunger and thirst for that same grace. And no, she doesn’t deserve it. No one does. That’s the amazing thing about grace. God is more wonderful and profound than we will ever know while on this planet. And I am thankful.
Sarah

@Lauren I’m so thankful to hear you have your eyes on that kind of love.
Leeann Yamakawa

To be honest, I really wonder if the offender is truly sorry for her actions or if she is just sorry for the consequences of her actions. By that I mean consequences like losing her two children and having to deal with the death threats and people’s overwhelming disgust. And maybe she DOES feel really guilty, and she SHOULD. Her actions were reprehensible, heartless, childish, and ridiculous.

I understand that when God looks at us (before we have Christ in our lives), he sees all of us as sinners and that he is no respectorr of persons. His judgment of sin extends to even the worst offender because to him, sin is sin. God doesn’t make differentiation in terms of degrees of guilt/sin because He can’t stand to look at sin in any form. The deserved punishment for all sin is death because He is holy. And I also understand that God’s grace/mercy are given freely to all no matter how great a person’s sin is. I also realize that we are supposed to be models of his grace/mercy/forgiveness. But the question is…what does that grace/mercy/forgiveness look like…coming from God and what should it look like coming from us? Forgiveness/grace/mercy certainly does NOT wipe away all the obvious consequences of our actions in this life. Yes, it does take away the penalty of eternal separation form God, but when a murderer comes to Christ, he still has to serve out his sentence in prison. There are natural consequences to our behavior that He does not always choose to obliterate. So while we can/could extend grace/mercy/forgiveness toward this woman who acted so wrongly toward this little girl, she still has to deal with the consequences of her actions within her “world,” and rightly so.

I have to admit after watching this video, I don’t FEEL like she looks or sounds REALLY contrite, so admittedly, that is an issue for me. I hear the words, but the body language, demeanor, etc. don’t seem to be there. I am glad that I am NOT God and therefore not her judge because I might be less likely to show grace toward someone like her than He is. Just being honest.
Sarah

@Leeann, I appreciate your honesty. And I hear you. There’s part of us that just wants to hear someone own up. Me too.

I just think that neighbors from their area are rushing to the Edward family to help them heal. I hope that someone is trying to come alongside this perpetrator too. And I hope if I lived in their neighborhood, I’d be willing to do both. I’m not sure I would. To be honest like you. But that is what I’m aiming at.
Leeann

That is definitely a good goal because obviously there is some reason WHY she feels it necessary to over-react and be so cruel. And as is usually the case, she is probably a victim herself at some level which causes her to strike out at others in inappropriate ways. She definitely needs to understand God’s love for her just like we all do. Understanding that unconditional and awesome love could make all the difference in the world as it has for many of the rest of us. And admittedly, it is much easier to write someone like her off, recoil from her, and talk about her negatively than it is to move toward her. Thank God, He is the Hound of Heaven who continues to pursue us even when we don’t deserve it or do not even want to be pursued and loved. If it wasn’t for His pursuit, I might be in an entirely different place than I am. I guess another thing to remember is that we should hate the sin (her poor choices) but love the sinner. All good food for thought.
http://twitter.com/JarridWilson Jarrid Wilson

love.
Sarah

Haha. @Jarrid, sometimes 1 word says a lot.
http://timmaynard.blogspot.com/ TimMaynard

The word “flinch” really makes this article. Perfect description Sarah.
Aprilmacomber

Your post is challenging & I appreciate it! xo I will keep pressing on We should always be growing ourselves more in efforts for the work of Christ!
I’ve got to say, after watching the video & it’s 10sec. blip of an apology, I can’t help but laugh at the media & their choice of words!! A “heart felt apology”, thats a joke..it may muster up enough to be put in the category of an apology, but hearth felt is a far cry! So my response to it specifically is “dissatisfied”. So saddening & unfortunate, as many other things in this world.
Sarah

Thanks, Tim. It’s sad that is what my stingy soul does sometimes when someone who “doesn’t deserve it” gets shown grace. I can be pretty lame!
Sarah

Yeah, I hear you, April. I doubt my initial reaction if I’d been there in person would’ve been grace. But hopefully reflecting after the fact helps prep my soul to be more on-the-spot gracious in the future. Ya know?
Annie Phipps

in my conversations with people about this sort of topic, i tend to say the same thing..mercy is forgiving someone for what they done, you can show mercy from afar, but grace is when you allow the person to come back into your world and live with you…. (so much harder to live out then to say,) i also send people right to psalms 55, my favorite psalm for the reality that God will judge wickedness, he will take care of it, and the reality of where people will spend enternity without the Lord is enough for me to extend the mercy and grace i am eternally grateful to recieve, sometimes daily.
thanks for sharing this story, Annie
http://www.religionsucketh.com/2010/11/14/se7en-25/ se7en | religion sucketh

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