Fabulous post, Sarah!

I want to be this, Sarah. As someone who has experienced tremendous pain from family, this post resonates with me. Grace means that I do not carry anger or hurt or resentment. The hardest people to forgive are the ones closest to me. LOVED this. Thank you.

Oh sarah…beauty here…yes..radical Grace…I get to give God the opportunity tonight…asking for Him to bring His light and Love in the darkness that separates….
great timing…blessings to you and May God fill us with His Grace….

Thank you. And blessings to you too!!

thank you so much Sandy!

i so agree. the hardest people to forgive are the ones that sit nearby. thank you ash.

Oh, such a perspective change! Starting at home–it really does change the world there first! 

Great, Sarah! Really!

Amy, thank you for your comment. And I agree – we have the chance to change the world beginning at our own tables. =)

Talk about a world-changing idea!

awesome post Sarah! 

Its easy to love the lovable but aren’t we to reach out to the unlovable..families are that first line defense to protect us. But when that does not happen its the hardest thing to do but the most tewarding through Jesus Christ to break down those barriers. May never be a Norman Rockwell scene but at least it will set u free!

Wow. Beautiful!

Powerful words.

thank you joni!

thank you tammy! =)

i love that!

i want to know which family IS a Rockwell painting. =)

thanks Mike =)

i agree. thanks for your comment. =)

Maybe I’m not ready to fully get there. It sounds WONDERFUL. It does. Almost too good to be true. But how long do you stand there opening your heart to someone who is simply going to shred it before long? This is the first year I have erected walls and boundaries around my family. I wish it could be different, I just don’t see how it’s possible when it’s not two way changes. And maybe… maybe I’m simply excusing myself from doing what I should do. I don’t know.

I think sometimes it’s easier to forgive the serial killer than to forgive the person passing us the mashed potatoes at dinner time.  Great post, Sarah. 

yep. totally true. =)

i totally agree with you. and i have to tell you i’m not there yet either.

there are certain boundaries that we MUST erect for safety. (ie. not going to let my kids be in the care of people who shouldn’t be caring for kids, etc.). And we don’t have to forget hurt. I’m not sure if human hearts are built for it.

But i do know that we can forgive and love despite deep hurts.

I’m so sorry for your struggle and your pain, stacey. praying for a painless and quiet holiday season for you. praying grace for your tired heart and joy for your soul.

thank you so much for being so honest and transparent.

Sarah. This is … yes. From God’s heart to your keyboard. The most timely of messages for me tonight. Thank you.

thank you friend. i so appreciate your kind words. =)

Amen!  Why is it that it is sometimes hardest to forgive / extend grace to those whom we are closest with. Yes, I can forgive Casey Anthony — because it does not cost me anything. Forgiveness can be very, very expensive.  But it is such a beautiful, valuable gift.

Wise words heading into the holiday minefield    Thanks for the great post, Sarah!

Thank you, Sarah

holiday minefield. so so true.

thanks tim. it’s so true – it’s expensive to forgive those closest to us.

Great post Sarah! Thanks for the reminder that grace and second chances still apply to our family.

beautiful post. I shared this with my daughter this morning who is 18 and struggling with her relationship with her father this month. I am praying for her with all my heart. Grace sometimes is oh so hard to give sometimes. xo

Wow!! Jesus loves the “whosoevers” and so should we. Thank you for the reminder and for challenging me in a good way. Charise

I want to do this SO badly…but I don’t know how.

Good stuff.  Thanks!

Gosh Sarah. You’re so right and even in the midst, we all know that Grace requires–even demands wisdom; we need to BE the light we have received and show the gentleness and respect that the Truth of the Gospel requires–we need to illuminate with the Light we’ve been given; not blind. We need to gather others in the way we’ve been gathered. One thing I remind others I’ve had the privilege to minister to and disciple is that the ground before the cross is ABSOLUTELY level. There are no little rises or deeper valleys for those of us who think we carry more or less worth. It’s hard to face but the Truth of the Gospel tells me that apart from God’s grace,  I am no better than that child molester or murderer even if I never went to those places. “But God”; two of the most powerfully-paired words in Scripture and with wisdom, I want to live from there. With wisdom, I want to lead others there too.

At first, this sounded like the old Merle Haggard song, then it sounded exactly like my family, down to the creepy uncle.�
Like Stacey, I have decided I needed to protect myself from these people and honestly, being alone is much less painful than being with them. Am feeling very fragile these days.

I would like to offer one piece of advice to Stacey: don’t judge yourself. Years down the road you may decide that you could have made different choices, but really, you are doing what you need to do for you right now. It’s not a right or wrong thing, it’s simply what you choose to do for now. 

So, my bro-in-law tells a crude joke about an std and stares at my tween daughter after asking why she never says anything, why she’s so quiet and shy, looks at his kids and says why can’t you two be like her? Starts talking about someone else, says that person is such an idiot. My 5 yr old son whispers, mom, uncle shouldn’t call his friend a name. Uncle hears 5 yr old nephew and defends the name calling, the 38 yr old os trying to convince the 5 yr old all of this is all right. He even says outloud ‘it’s all about me’ and says he loves God.

I hide in the bathroom and pray. I say nothing to confront bro-in-law, I don-t react at all. In the past, that only fueled the fire. Dear Jesus, only you are perfect and only you are holy. We all are in need of your perfect grace. Please show me how to humly, selflessly love in the midst of uncomfortableness and even disgust. Show me how to really love. Thank you.

Really powerful post.  Really describes the situation with both my family and my in laws.

No, you aren’t excusing yourself.  You are doing the right thing.  I had to erect boundries around my mum, too, and she eventually respected them.  If she hadn’t, I would have limited my contact with her.  Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean restoration of relationship.