2006 was a significant year for me. It was not only the year that I turned 29 (as in just about to hit the 3-0), but it was also the year that planted the seeds that would eventually put me at this scary place I am at right now.

One of the things that happened that year was that I attended a small art panel in downtown Pittsburgh. It was a totally unexpected thing for me to do because of the attitude I had back then toward “art.” To put it bluntly, I equated art with BS.  I had very little respect for artists in general, and the word “art” was just fluffy, fuzzy, and meaningless.

Writing that last sentence leaves me physically uncomfortable now, because my ignorance is so obvious in hindsight. But back then I was absolutely certain about that feeling. If attending this small obscure art panel could have been expected, it would have been to prove that art was BS.  But even that was not why I was there.

The reason I was there was a highly irrational reaction to a phrase I read the day before: “Do one thing every day that scares you.“  This was a transitional period in my life, where everything I had believed in had come into question, so that phrase struck a chord with me.  After reading it, I happened to see a note about a panel discussion in a downtown art gallery, where artists would be facilitating a discussion on racism. It seemed like a random lil event, but that randomness  — and the idea of meeting strangers in a panel setting — was, well, scary. So I had to do it.

The art panel turned out to be very very small. There were maybe 15 people in the entire space. After a long awkward period of browsing nonsensical paintings around the gallery, we were asked to sit in the main hall of the gallery. We then split into three groups of 5 to start the discussion around the topic of racism. I had my share of stuff to say as I have experienced this in the U.S. myself, so I was quite eager to pitch in. But then as I sat there listening to one person after another sharing their stories of how they experienced racism, and why they found it unjust, etc… I noticed a pattern. Each one of them not only shared what had happened to them, but when they got down to the bottom of their feelings, they divulged the fact that it has effected their daily lives by filling it with fear. That because something heinous had happened to them once, they had come to believe that they can indeed happen again. And this fear was preventing them from questioning the strong belief they had developed as a result.

This was a huge smack on my own head, and it became very clear to me at that moment that I have also been living a life of fear. And this fear resulting from having experienced a heinous act of hate by others, had deeply seeded a sense of fear in me, which has essentially turned me into yet another hater not much better than those who had acted badly toward me.

I’ve experienced two horrible incidents on the street. Once in Seoul and once in Beijing. Both times all I did was look at someone in the eye and say “hello”. But what happened afterwards was that they got very angry and wanted to beat me up. Well, run like hell I did. After having gone through something like this a couple times (across culture, no less) I must have taken a mental note to myself that smiling and saying “hello” to strangers is probably not a good idea.

So, what I absolutely __loved__ about the “idea” of America (before I got here) was that people seem to say “hello” on the street and smile to each other. They say “good morning” as they enter their work place, they greet the door man, the guard, etc… At least that’s what it looked like in the movies. I was fascinated! It seemed like such a wonderful place to be! So when I got to the U.S. I tried it out by smiling and saying “hello” to strangers on the street. And it didn’t work! Many times people gave me the “who the hell are you?” look.
So I quickly got very timid, and stopped doing it. It was bad enough that this was a new thing I was trying…

But what this discussion made me realize was that, the fact that I stopped trying, meant that I was discouraging others who might also be trying. To bring it back more closely to the realm of racism, if I saw a black man walking toward me downtown, even if I didn’t have the racial prejudice of thinking he’s bad news, I would still avoid eye contact because I have never had a positive experience greeting strangers on the street. But then he can very much take that as a racially prejudiced act, and be reaffirmed of the racism that still clearly exists in the world today. What just happened there? Nothing good. It only perpetuated fear. While I may have acted on my past negative experience of greeting people on the street, the result is reciprocal feeding of fear on both ends.

This really made me think again about how simple it can be to bring joy into our everyday lives. Not only our lives but of others. If we could just muster up the courage to smile and greet at the strangers we pass by on the street, I wonder how different the world would be?

Just that lil conscious act of courage, of trust. Nothing more. Nothing less. I think that would be an amazing act of design.

—

(The short film below describes these thoughts in more detail.)

Casey Anthony, Osama Bin Laden, Joe Paterno, Rob Blagojevich. Chris Brown. These are not names normally associated with grace. Most of the time, we think of punishment and retribution — people beyond God’s grace.

Which says a lot, because the way that we extend grace to others is connected to how we receive God’s grace. It’s radical, and it encompasses our struggles, pain, and heartaches; our sin, past mistakes, and failures; even our relationships and friendships.  And if we feel that some people are beyond God’s grace, we cannot fully experience it for ourselves.

The apostle Paul is a great example of God’s radical grace. Most Christians would have had reservations about extending grace to Paul, who was a murderer and persecutor. But God extended grace and changed his life forever. He gave Paul a mission, and His grace saw Paul through to the end.  Because of that grace, we have most of the New Testament of the Bible, and through Paul’s story we see that even the worst of sinners are eligible to receive God’s wonderful grace.

Paul said the following words about himself:

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief; and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. (1 Timothy 1:12-14)

We have all made terrible mistakes. We have all said things that we wish we could take back. We have all done things that we deeply regret. But the incredible truth is that God wants to pour out his radical grace and completely revolutionize our lives — if we allow it to. And to really be in a place to allow it, we need to be willing to give it.

Hillsong United’s recent song, “Like An Avanlance,” proclaims this:

And I find myself on me knees again
Caught up in grace like an avalanche
Nothing compares to this love love love
Burning in my heart

And when you’re caught up in an avalanche, you can’t help but go along.  May we all experience the grace of God like an avalanche as we extend God’s radical grace towards others.

Why People of a “Second Chance”?   What’s so special about a “second chance”?

As part of the POTSC community, I LOVE these types of questions. They spark conversation, and conversation sparks a heartbeat, and a heartbeat is all grace needs to make a radical difference.

So what is so special about a second chance?  EVERYTHING.

A second chance is the most powerful thing you can extend to another person.

It amplifies love.
It restores hope.
It redeems value.
It rises above the tides of judgment.
It breaks free the chains of repression.
It grabs hold of the hands of the anguish and deems them beautiful.
It takes a person from being devalued because of their actions to being valued because they are a person.

A second chance is grace in action.  A second chance is the story changer.

It takes someone from…

there to here
unseen to seen
forgotten to remembered
lost to found
drowning to swimming
abandoned to rescued.

How do I know this?

Because my story was radically changed by grace.  Not because I am a great person or a person who has earned her way, but because I am a product of grace.   I am a second chance with skin on.

So why People of a “Second Chance”?

Because we are all walking second chances.

I’ll admit it.  When I saw Chris Brown perform during the Grammys, I made a face and turned to my wife.  “I really don’t like him,” I said to her.

And actually, I said a lot more in my head.  “He’s sleazy.  He’s sketchy.  He’s abusive.  He’s a terrible influence.“

I was a little ashamed when I reviewed the string of choice labels I’d just lobbed at the TV, but I shrugged it off and moved on.

Then I started hearing the rumblings of a controversy.  People were upset.  People were writing articles with titles like “Do We Have To Forgive Chris Brown?” and “No, We Don’t Have To Forgive Chris Brown.“    (yes, really)

And if things weren’t touchy enough, a group of fans tweeted that they’d let Chris Brown “beat [them] anytime he wants.” (yes, really, again)

Good grief.

Meanwhile, Grammy Producer Ken Ehrlich has stated that he was rooting for Brown: “I just believe people deserve a second chance.  The year he had this year, really brought him back into the public. He really deserved a second chance.”

So, who’s right?  And why does it even matter? It may seem almost irrelevant, since Chris Brown is a celebrity, and our thoughts have pretty much no bearing on his situation or the greater controversy.

Except it isn’t irrelevant, because in my experience, our thoughts towards people far removed from us inevitably leak into our thoughts towards people close to us.  So over the last few days I’ve read, thought, polled, and even prayed about it.  And I noticed something that I never noticed before:

We tend to believe that when we give someone a second chance, that means we’re condoning whatever they did to blow their first chance.

In fact, “Believe” may actually be the wrong word.  Maybe it’s about fear.  Maybe we’re afraid that if we forgive someone, people will think we’re condoning their actions.

In any case, that kind of thinking takes forgiveness off the table, because even if we conceed that forgiveness is a good thing, as many of the most angry responders to the controversy have done, we could never risk the chance that we might start approving of the crime.  Or even the appearance of approval.  So don’t even ask, because I’m not going to do it.  It’s not worth it.  He hit her, and that’s wrong, and end of story.

That’s not true in all cases, though, right?  If it were, then we’d be disowning our kids, returning our pets, and moving to Fargo.  In fact, we can be quite generous with forgiveness — so long as it won’t embarrass us.  Mouthy kids?  Unloving parents?  Unfair parking tickets?  Lazy spouses?  We’re not so embarrassed by that stuff.  No one’s afraid of their neighbors thinking they condone parking tickets.

But molestation?  Domestic abuse?   Infidelity?   Violent crime?   Don’t even ask, because I’m not going to do it.  It’s not worth it.

Well, I’m going to go out on a limb and claim that’s a prison.  Something we’re afraid of (people thinking we approve) is preventing us from doing something we know is right (forgiveness).  If that’s not bondage, I don’t know what is.

So let’s be free of that.  Say it with me.  Free.

Forgiving a bully doesn’t mean you approve of bullying.
Forgiving a spouse doesn’t mean you approve of cheating.
Forgiving a company doesn’t mean you approve of bad service.
Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean you approve of your wasted youth.

and …

Forgiving Chris Brown doesn’t mean you approve of domestic violence.

If someone else wants to interpret it that way, then let them. Meanwhile, change the world around you through one act of forgiveness at a time. Chris Brown may very well be a bad man; I don’t know.  But I know forgiveness is a good thing.  Why?  Because it’s been pretty darn good to me.

And I’d rather go with something I know than something I don’t know.

Also, be sure to check out a free sample of his new book!

GOOD IDEA. NOW WHAT?
By Charles Lee:

I love being inspired.

I think inspiration is essential to fueling our creativity. Inspiration touches us at our core and moves us to care about the things that really matter.

Unfortunately, inspiration alone can’t change our world. Ideas need to be embodied and actualized. Otherwise, they simply remain as thoughts in our minds or words on paper.

Yes, ideas are not enough.

Good ideas need things like intentional strategy, implementation processes, sustainable infrastructure, collaborative teams, viable networks, smart branding, and a deep commitment to hard work to see everything through. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart.

Nevertheless, it’s not impossible. Ideas can be implemented well by anyone who truly considers their concepts worth actualizing. Do you really believe in the ideas that run around your mind and keep you up late at night? The good news is that many of these elements needed for implementation have proven principles and insights you could leverage to help take your ideas to market.

This is why I wrote the book “Good Idea. Now What?” This book was written for on-the-go idea-makers (yes, people like you!). Written in 40 short, stand alone (yet connected) chapters filled with practical principles, insights, and next steps. The book is designed to be clear and concise for those of us who don’t need 10 stories to get the point. Got a few minutes? Finish a chapter and continue to move forward with your idea. Learn from some of the best implementers out there like Soledad O’Brien of CNN, Scott Harrison of charity: water, Ben Keesey of Invisible Children, and Blake Mycoskie of TOMS.

Our world needs your ideas! I hope that this book can help you make your ideas a reality. Here’s a free sample to get you started!

This is usually where we say, “well, at least we tried, but what did you expect?”  Many of us probably did say that.

But that’s not the end of the story.  Ted is a real person, not an abstract headline, and his life continued after the attention faded.  He pressed through recovery, shifting his failed second chance into a still-unfolding third chance.

Cord Jefferson writes:

“At the time of his unraveling, I said I hoped he might be able to have a comback to his comback.  If there’s such a thing as a second chance, there should be a third chance too.”

Jefferson goes on to write that Ted’s third chance has arrived, in the form of a Kraft Valentines Day Twitter campaign.  Using the hashtag #VoiceOfLove, you can submit comments and questions, and Ted will personally respond with his beautiful voice!

As People of the Second Chance community, we can raise our voices for new chances tangibly today, tomorrow — all this week — by tweeting #VoiceOfLove. We all deserve a comeback to our comeback and let’s come together to make our #VoiceOfLove strong.

We are People of the Second Chance and together, we have a #VoiceOfLove.”

Check out the full article here!

And check out the video from Kraft:

With Catalyst West approaching, it’s a great time to talk about our theme of “Be Present.” So, what does Be Present really mean to me?

• Focused and Undivided. Focused on what is right in front of you.
• Engaged In Your Community.
• Focused on Your Family & Marriage. In the mess.
• A Close Community of Accountability & Friendships.
• Leading where you are. Staying in the moment and not losing focus on the here and now.
• Embracing the role and opportunity God has given you right now where God has placed you for this season, vs. focusing on what’s next.
• Creating margin that allows for interruptions and moments of inconvenience, which can be moments when God does the greatest work through us.
• Having consistent connection with your organization, team, and staff.
• Being consumed by Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Because He is Present.
• Balancing a culture of distraction and consumption with a commitment to solitude and thinking.
• Being vs Doing. What should I do? The tension of a cause driven culture saying do something now vs. the contented state of “being.”
• In the TODAY. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is on it’s way. But today is the present. Focus on Today.
• It’s about staying. Showing up and not leaving. Having a presence in a place, a location. About context. Connected to an address, neighborhood, city, zip code.
• Where you are. Wherever you are, be all there. It’s our responsibility to embrace what God has put squarely in front of us. Take action right where we are. Being fully present in one place.

Be Present. We get caught up with what happened yesterday and preoccupied with what will happen tomorrow. We live in a constant state of being plugged on, plugged in, status updates, requests, and real time perspective. Is this really the real you though? What if the people in your life knew the real you? What if you stripped back all the layers of fake, and fluff, and façade? What would people see? What would people think? To know this purpose, we must first know Him, Jesus, and living life fully in who He has called us and created us to be.

Let’s strip away all the “stuff” and be real. Aware of what is happening around us, within us, and through us. Be Present.

And we want you to BE PRESENT with us this April for Catalyst West!  It’s going to be an amazing time and I hope to see you there.

I don’t use labels like “slut,” “faggot,” or “retard.”

In the words of Tom Petty, I grew up much like Mary Jane, tall and right. I worked hard in school and even harder during my summers off, introducing myself and smiling and apologizing for ingredients out of place just to put myself through four years of college. I studied and kept the scholarships, I lived at home and commuted through pink dawns and starry nights, and often drove straight from campus to work, changing my shirt in the car with knees guiding the wheel.

So no, I’ve never used labels like “slut,” “faggot,” or “retard.”

But daily, hourly, with the same amount of disgust in my voice, I have used these:

“Snobbish.” “Filthy rich.”  “Shallow.”

Along the way I’ve deluded myself into thinking I’m a Robin Hood of sorts, stealing dignity from the rich to feed the poor.  But I’m the undignified one in this story.

I stuck the labels onto the glittering left hand rings and swanky right hand wristwatches, assured that they’d never peel. But it didn’t work like that. Instead, the labels stuck to me, fastened to the same dirty fingers that tried to stick them on those with six figure incomes.  They took on the shape of simmering anger, bitterness, and snide remarks.

And I’m sorry.  Because those labels lie. And because we’re all in this saga of humanity together.  And we all feel the same burden of the human condition strapped across our shoulders.  And we surely all feel the sting of brokenness and loneliness and worthlessness.

I know this because I have those scars too. And that makes us human together.

That makes us partners in this story of redemption and grace.

And that makes us all brothers and sisters.

By Ashley Smith:

Love is a decision, liberate it.

Love is art, create it.

Expressing love is art. Love is creative.

When we seek love with new, re-birthed, grace filled eyes, reborn without barriers, we find life. We find second chances. New chances. New creativity. New art. We experience the substance and weight of untamed freedom, true free love.

Be love. Be liberated love.

Not the cliched idea that love is a fleeting feeling or 7 steps to achieve it or 5 ways to show it, liberated love is actionable love. The love that rebirths, gives new chances.

“Most people die before they are fully born. Creativeness means to be born before one dies.” -Erich Fromm

Have you experienced this radical, unconditional love? The type that gives birth to new love? The kind where you can stand in front of the closet, full of the shadows and skeletons and darkness of your life and fully open the door, let it all be released and have someone stand with you, holding your hand- and say, “None of this, nothing will change or shape my love for you. My love is not based on what you do or done or could do- it’s simply because you are YOU.”

I believe this love is possible, I believe this love is what a second chance looks like. I believe that you and I can be this love now, today- that we can receive it and give it freely.

I believe we, together, have the ability to celebrate people for being people. period. That we can liberate love- let it be expressed and lavished freely- even in our DARKEST PLACES, the places where we are most ashamed.

No condition. No guarantee. No judgement. Simply because people matter. WE ALL matter, no matter what.

That we can reinvent and rebirth ourselves in this love daily- that we create art with the palette of radical grace, second chances, acceptance, belonging, purpose and believe in the masterpieces we are.

Be love. Be liberated love.

I have a friend who is a used car salesman, a label that nobody wants.

I was helping my mother buy a car. She is a widow, and my dad used to take care of everything for her. When he lost his battle to cancer 13 years ago, the job was handed over to me.

When I walked in the store with her, I made my mission very clear: “I am here to take care of my mother, who is a widow and has a budget. How can you help me?” I asked the salesman.

We found a car we thought would be perfect. Slightly used. Low mileage. Good starting price. Plus it was blue, which was important to her.

The car had just come in and wasn’t ready to show yet. The manager told me his price, saying that he didn’t feel like he could come down much more. I would come back in a few days and we could settle on a final number then.

When I came by, the manager was out that day, so the salesman gave us the write up. It was $2000 cheaper than the previous price.  “We’ll take it!” I said without hesitation. I couldn’t believe it. It seemed to good to be true.

It was.

The manager called the next day explaining the mistake. Apparently, one of the basics of selling cars is that you never offer it for less than you’re actually allowed to sell it for.

I was angry. How dare they offer me that price and take it away? What kind of business are they running?  I felt I had been lied to. I was going to make him pay, or rather make him let me pay less.

Determined to get the lower price, I equipped myself with the ammunition necessary to win. I armed myself with a label.

“I thought this dealership was different. I thought you had class. Apparently you are just like any other used car salesman.”

I was going to use that label to get what I wanted. Nothing else mattered to me, certainly not the person at the other end of the label.   But thankfully, I didn’t actually say it. I wanted to, but before I could pull it out of my arsenal, I took the time to listen.

It turns out our use of labels is often based on what we want out of another person and not in an actual truth about that person.

As he explained, I realized it was an honest mistake. I understood that he is just like me. He was new at this position and his boss is a hard man. If he let this car go at that price he would likely lose his job.

He wasn’t just a man selling used cars, but a person with a family and a mortgage. He was doing the best he could, but like all of us, he messed up.

Used car salesmen, on the other hand, sell junk and call it a bargain. They cheat and lie their way to success, taking advantage of the ignorant. It is a label that you earn through hard work — but not through honest mistakes.

I had two choices. To label and win … or to forgive. To show grace. To allow him the second chance of negotiating the price.

I paid $1500 more than the mistake price. I wish he would have let me pay more for it.  I lost the negotiations, but I gained something better. A relationship. A friendship with a used car salesman, made possible through a second chance.