Posted by Mike Foster:

I was online today and I read some harsh comments about the fact that Ted and Gayle Haggard are appearing on Celebrity Wife Swap on ABC.

Unfortunately, this isn’t new for the Haggards. It seems like everything they do is scrutinized, dissected and put under the microscope.

I realize them appearing on a reality TV show about “wife swapping” just gives the peanut gallery another opportunity to throw the remaining rocks left in their pockets.

But consider another option. Maybe it is time to let Ted and Gayle move on with their lives and do whatever they want to do.

If they want to be on TV, start a church, walk on the moon, love each other, climb Mt. Everest, be awesome parents, do a film series, sit on their ass or start a company that makes vintage hand bags…why they hell shouldn’t they be able to do that?

The beauty of grace is that it gives us permission to move on. Second chances are rooted in the freedom of the future, not the painful mistakes from our past.

As Robert Downey Jr. said about his friend Mel Gibson, maybe it’s time to let them “stop hugging the cactus.” All I know is that I’m thankful that someone told me that I don’t have to hug the cactus anymore after all the messes I have made.

I’ve had the privilege of talking with Gayle a few times this year. She is an amazing woman. Strong, compassionate, kind and filled with grace.

A few years ago I interviewed Ted after the scandal and send occasional emails to him to let him know I’m praying for him and standing with him. He is a good man who loves God and is doing his best to rebuild his life. And honestly, it isn’t easy.

I say that to remind all of us that at the end of the day these are people just like you and me. Second chancers in the making! And whether it’s the Haggards or any other failed, flawed and hurting human being on this planet, we all need a fresh start.

Ted and Gayle, I wish you the best…and I will be tuning in.

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Parenting is tough.

The pressure to raise healthy, productive and happy kids can be intense.

Performance and parenting often go hand and hand.

Am I doing enough for my child? Can I give them more? Am I spending too much time at work? All these can stir up feelings of inadequacy.

Labels abound in parenting. Judgment is often brought by other parents. Mom on Mom judgment is pretty typical in social circles.

Some of the most cutting and hurtful things that can be said to us is about our relationship with our children. Especially where we have failed or fallen short.

A destructive label attached to being a Mom or Dad can be the most vicious of all. It is so personal…and it can really hurt.

Labels Lie. Don’t Accept Them. Don’t Use Them.

I know life is tough right now after filing for divorce from Chris.

I’m sure you’ve learned this, especially the last few days, that people can be very cruel and mean. Especially at a time when what you really need is love…a listening ear…and support.

I’m so sorry about that. You see, we just don’t realize that as we criticize and mock and say nasty things about you, we are really hurting ourselves. That it isn’t really about you Kim, it is about us.

Someone once told me “Hurt People…Hurt People.” It’s true.

For a bunch of reasons our own grace tanks are empty and so we act pretty childish sometimes.

So it’s just so much easier to hate on you then deal with our own crap.

I’m guilty too. I’m really good at pointing out other people’s failures, marriage problems and stupid decisions. I’m trying to change this about myself.

Cuz I’ve learned more recently that standing up for second chances, defending those who are getting beat up in life and sticking my neck out for those going through a hard time is a much sweeter way to live.

Kim, I know you don’t need any advice. You’re super smart and you’ve got a great family and lots of friends who love you. You already know you will come out of this stronger, wiser and more focused then ever on what’s truly important.

So just know that I and a bunch of People of the Second Chancer’s are cheering you on and screaming at the top of our lungs, “Damn the critics and long live second chances!”

Hang in there. We love you.

Sincerely,

Mike Foster (and a few thousand of his friends)

Unfortunately, there are many people who aren’t in a position to share their story, but that’s changing.  Initiatives like Help-Portait are leading the way, and we wanted to give this amazing program a heartfelt shout-out!

Help-Portrait is a unique way for communities to come together and show people their value in a tangible way – with a portrait and a story.  These stories and images help spread the message of Help-Portrait: that our stories matter.

2011 has been a huge year for Help-Portrait, but they need your help moving forward.  We believe your tribe can connect with the spirit of Help-Portrait and will want to help spread the word.  How can you help?

• Five tweets on the behalf of Help-Portrait for the weeks of Nov. 7, Nov. 14, Nov. 21, Nov. 28 and Dec. 5. They’ll give you a list of ideas to tweet and remind you a few days prior.
• A blog post in November about the Help-Portrait event – they’ll give you video and photos to share if you’d like.

Find Help-Portrait on their website, Facebook, and Twitter for more info!

It has swag for days.
Designs as fresh as you will find.
I mean the concept behind this campaign is mind-blowing.
When I fist saw the Casey Anthony poster that Foster sent me, I set that as my desktop.

Casey Anthony.

She is gonna stare me straight in the eyes for as long as I can handle it.

It took me back to this post that I wrote a few weeks ago.
She is stunning in that picture.
Radiant even.
She looks capable of nothing evil.

The horror it must be for someone to know that they will ALWAYS be looked upon as evil. That they will ALWAYS be remembered by their sin.

I wonder what that feels like?

Maybe if I stare at her on my desktop for a few weeks I can feel her pain.

Then it happened.

My mind raced back to 10th grade and that moment I was almost allowed into the popular crowd, for a price.
And not a price I would pay.
I remember walking up to Ingrid Rowens and my heart beating out of my chest.
It was the last day of school and she was smiling from ear to ear.
She was packing her locker up with one of her friends and I could feel the eyeballs piercing my spine as I stepped closer.

They were watching.
Waiting.
Using me.
For their pleasure.

Just walk up to Ingrid, tap her on the shoulder, and ask her out.
Ingrid probably weighed 300.
Easy.
When she says yes, smile and say…”I’m kidding. Why would I go out with a fat b-tch like you?”

This had happened to Ingrid 2 times in 2 years. The first time was horrific.
The second time she cried before the guy even called her a fat b-tch.
It was always on the last day of school and this year was my year.
Her pain was their prize and I was their pawn.

“Hey Ingrid.  I know this is kinda awkward, but what are you doing Friday night?  Wanna hang out?”

Her face froze.

I knew in that moment that she knew.
This was the third time she had heard this question from a random guy and she knew what was coming.
And past the sky blue in her eyes, past the pain of her life, I saw her first choose to let me win, and gain the favor of those guys 20 yards behind me.
But then, on her face, the look was different.
Peaceful even.
Maybe she saw the doubt in my eyes.
The nervousness in my question.
I swear to this moment I saw her decide again.
I don’t know how I saw it.
But I did.

She made a decision to allow me a second chance.

A second chance at something I hadn’t even destroyed her with yet.

“I’d love to.” Ingrid said.
Knowing full well the verbal and emotional destruction that was to follow, I looked back behind me.
Then back at Ingrid.

“Cool.  7 o’clock ok?  Market Square Mall for a movie?”

I pretty much got my cool card for the summer revoked by going to the movie with the “fat b-tch”.

But while I might have missed out on most of the parties that summer, at least Ingrid won’t see the image below and have to be reminded to give radical grace.

It was a conscious decision that time with Ingrid. But there are plenty of times I didn’t take that path by my victim, and the image above could serve as a perfect desktop to remind, say, that guy in the Home Depot parking lot yesterday that the bald Panamanian who flipped him off is really deserving of grace.

We can put our mugs on any of these posters.

We all haunt someones grace limit.

Who could put up your poster and be reminded to give radical grace?

Posted by Jarrid Wilson:

How many times have we built something that results in failure?

1) A job
2) A business
3) A marriage
4) A ministry

We can all find joy in the opportunity to construct, but what happens when the reality of destruction sets in?

When we fail, we tend to thrown down our gloves, hang up our hammers and torch our plans, but for what reason?

When everything comes crashing down, you’re in the best place to rummage through the pieces and build something new.

Pick up the pieces, layout the plan, and construct on the foundation of a new beginning, a second chance. Most of the time, the only person holding us back is ourselves.

This is a call to action for those feeling unworthy and undeserving. Let us be advocates of grace and architects of second chances.

You can build it, grace can help.

Is Van Halen the greatest rock band ever? Or is it Bon Jovi?

Is Kobe the best basketball player to ever play in the NBA?

Did the movie Inception get robbed at the Oscars?

Is Charlie Sheen…well you know how it goes.

All the noise. All the opinions. Tweets flying everywhere. Water cooler gossiping. Everybody wants to chime in.

So I thought I would give a few tips and ideas on how to give an opinion:

1. DETERMINE THE BEST FORMAT FOR YOUR OPINION
Too many times we weigh on big topics with a Tweet when we should have picked up the phone or done it in person. If it’s important to you, make sure you pick the best medium to present that opinion. And if it’s highly personal…do it face to face…not on your Facebook wall.

2. HELP MOVE THE CONVERSATION FORWARD
So often we are guilty of letting our opinion add to the divisiveness and slimy conversations that are taking place out there. I always try to ask myself am I helping steer the conversation towards something redemptive or is my opinion just going to add to the fire. An effective opinion helps reexamine the current collective wisdom that exists.

3. SOMETIMES YOU SHOULD JUST HOLD YOUR OPINION
Not every single opinion you have matters or should be given. This is a hard one for a lot of us. There are certain topics I never weigh in on. Mostly because I really don’t know what I’m talking about and it is completely out of my competency. Before you speak, ask yourself if you really need to add your 2 cents about it.

4. IF YOUR OPINION IS ABOUT SOMEBODY, SAY IT SOFTER.
I love giving a strong opinion on whether I thought a certain blockbuster movie was totally lame. Or smack talk when my San Diego Chargers beat up on the Denver Broncos.

But when it comes to people directly, I take a different approach. And when I give my opinion about someone I try very hard to be as positive as possible. Their should be a difference in how you give your opinion about “someone” verses giving your opinion about “something.”

5. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HAVE AN OPINION
I’m not asking for you to be a doormat or give no opinion. I think we often think silence is more honorable then speaking up. We have this misconception that if you’re a grace oriented person you just agree with everybody. You don’t want to cause any problems and you want everyone to just get along.

There are things things in the world you should speak up about. You should be vocal about challenging hatred, judgment and abuse. Gladly give your opinion when an injustice is occuring. Don’t be afraid to share what you believe. But just make sure you let points 1-4 guide you before you do.

Any other insights on the best way to give your opinion?

Exploiting someone’s self destruction is deplorable. It’s vulture culture on full display.

Yet if you happened to turn on CNN, ABC and NBC yesterday you would of seen interviews with Charlie Sheen. (And no, I’m not linking the footage.)

These opportunistic news agencies fed us images of a man self destructing and wrestling through his years of addiction. Clearly something has gone horribly wrong in Charlie Sheen’s life and he needs serious help and intervention.

Of course that didn’t stop Piers Morgan from declaring on his show that Sheen was “alarmingly normal” as perhaps some justification for CNN’s exploitation.

But this post isn’t about Charlie. This post is about those who would use and profit off of people like Charlie with no real concern for helping them get better.

I’m sure these media outlets got their beloved ratings and yes we tuned in to watch this tragic trainwreck. But sorry guys, nuts ain’t news.

I’m turning it off. And so should you.

S C A N D A L O U S

In a culture that feeds on sensational failure, of the dirty laundry of the rich and famous, we are insurgents destined to overthrow judgment and liberate love.

When radical grace is exercised, it creates a different type of SCANDAL.

Something unexplainable, unforeseeable, and undeniable.

Something beautiful.

Something freeing.

Something divine.

Join us this year as we amplify the voice of Second Chances.

Lay down our lives for others.

Echo the mantra of our community that is committed to stretch ourselves in the areas of relational forgiveness, personal transparency, and advocate for mercy over judgment.

We can stand together to provoke acts of SCANDALOUS grace- in a tangible, actionable way.

What SCANDAL are you being called to unleash in 2011?

or have been in prison.”

Those were the first words out of my mouth as I stood in front of a packed room of about 350 ladies at the women’s prison in Vegas. (This post is adapted from my wife’s post at Leading and Loving It)

One year ago, Christmas Eve to be exact, we launched our first campus inside a prison in partnership with God Behind Bars. Prior to that Christmas Eve, they had never had more than a handful of people attend a service. Now around 350 women (the most that are allowed to gather at one time) meet each Saturday night for church. That’s over 1/3 of the prison population.

So many of them have come to Christ in the last 12 months and are now actively sharing their faith with the other inmates. Just last week, 34 women graduated from the 8 month Step Study that is part of our Celebrate Recovery ministry. 75 women are now signed up to be part of the next Step Study that is starting. This Sunday, the team will baptize 40 women.

Monday night, Lori & I, a few staff members, and our worship band headed out to the prison for a Christmas service. I can’t even begin to describe it, because words are completely inadequate. But I will say this:

Best. Worship. Service. Ever.

They sang so loudly, and screamed so deafeningly, that my ears were ringing for hours. So many hands up. And their faces … I wish you could have seen their faces while they were praising God. Lori and I just sat there and cried.

I shared my testimony of addiction, recovery and the incredible Grace of God.

So, now, I want you to check out this video while I throw out a few thank-yous.

To Chaplain Hill: You are amazing. We are completely in awe of what you do and how God is using you to reach women and help them grow in their relationship with Him. What in incredible work He’s called you to!

To Jake & God Behind Bars: We are so incredibly proud of you for following God into this mission. God is using you to impact so many lives. Thrilled that we can partner with you!

To the Drew Bodine Band: You’ve never sounded better! Love your hearts, your willingness to serve, and your giftedness at leading people in worship. You are all amazing!

On a side note for those who might be interested, $10 sends a Christmas gift to a woman at Florence McClure and includes nice gift bag, a Composition Notebook, a Calendar, Pens, Lotion, Deodorant, Shampoo, Conditioner, and some Candy … all requested by the prisoners. You can go here for more information.