Category Archives: Labels Lie

By Elizabeth Hudson:

I don’t use labels like “slut,” “faggot,” or “retard.”

In the words of Tom Petty, I grew up much like Mary Jane, tall and right. I worked hard in school and even harder during my summers off, introducing myself and smiling and apologizing for ingredients out of place just to put myself through four years of college. I studied and kept the scholarships, I lived at home and commuted through pink dawns and starry nights, and often drove straight from campus to work, changing my shirt in the car with knees guiding the wheel.

So no, I’ve never used labels like “slut,” “faggot,” or “retard.”

But daily, hourly, with the same amount of disgust in my voice, I have used these:

“Snobbish.” “Filthy rich.”  “Shallow.”

Along the way I’ve deluded myself into thinking I’m a Robin Hood of sorts, stealing dignity from the rich to feed the poor.  But I’m the undignified one in this story.

I stuck the labels onto the glittering left hand rings and swanky right hand wristwatches, assured that they’d never peel. But it didn’t work like that. Instead, the labels stuck to me, fastened to the same dirty fingers that tried to stick them on those with six figure incomes.  They took on the shape of simmering anger, bitterness, and snide remarks.

And I’m sorry.  Because those labels lie. And because we’re all in this saga of humanity together.  And we all feel the same burden of the human condition strapped across our shoulders.  And we surely all feel the sting of brokenness and loneliness and worthlessness.

I know this because I have those scars too. And that makes us human together.

That makes us partners in this story of redemption and grace.

And that makes us all brothers and sisters.

By Deb Owen:

I don’t tell people this.  I know the looks, the judgements, the ideas people have of ‘that’ kind of woman.  I’ve listened as people have said time and time again:

“I’m so surprised you’d let someone…..”

I am a woman who has been in an abusive relationship.  And not just one, but three.  Though the time I stayed in the latter was much much less than the first.

The label?  Victim.

It was shocking to most people who knew then.  I’m still usually met with shock when people learn of it now.

I come from a solid, close, middle-class family.  There aren’t any cycles or patterns in my history that were being repeated.  Nothing in my background, my life outside these relationships, would lead someone to suspect these were the relationships I’d choose.  I’ve had success in my career.  I’ve accomplished things.

So maybe you can understand when i say I am not a victim.  To call myself victim is to let all those other labels those men used to convince me I had no better option than to stay with them true.  Helpless.  Hopeless.  Stupid.  Pushover. Useless.  Unlovable.  Undesirable.  Ugly.  The list goes on.

To call myself victim is to say that I have no choice, that I have no power.  (There was a time when I believed that with every fiber in me.)  I am not a victim.  Or even a former victim.  I have choices.  I had choices then, too — I just didn’t know it.

I’m not a survivor either.  To label myself as a survivor still identifies me as who I was then, and as the woman those men would have me be.  To call myself a survivor gives too much power to my past, bringing it with me into today.

In those relationships, I had no idea who I was. I had no deep sense of my own identity.  I let others define me, identify me, and label me.   After, I was filled with guilt and shame, filled with anger towards myself for allowing myself to be in those places to begin with.  I was full of fear, wondering if this was all there was for me.  I was lost.

But it wasn’t all there was for me.  There was so much more.   As I started taking small steps, reaching out for help, doing the next best thing I could do … I met grace.  More was done for me than I could have done for myself.  More than I would have even begun to ask for or imagine possible.  I discovered generosity, joy, peace, and love.  I was found.

Today, I know who I am.  I found my identity and only One labels me.  Today, I have strength and dignity.  I smile at today, and at the future.

I am renewed.  I am restored.  I am whole.
I am loved.  I am changed.  I am new.  I am free.

I am People of the Second Chance.

Every one of us has a story to tell.  It’s taken a lifetime to write, and has more characters, plot lines, and twists than any other book written.  Our stories are complex, and when someone asks us to tell it, we often don’t even know where to start.

So why is it that, when we see someone with a certain style of dress, or a certain type of car, or a certain address, we think we can sum their story up into one tidy statement?

He’s poor.  She’s trashy.  They’re so ghetto.

We’ve all thought it, and we’ve probably even said it before.  But we also know better.

You looked at a proof of this image last week and saw labels like “poor,” “not good enough,” and “trashy.”  We heard your hearts on this one, and hope you’ll join us in rejecting these hurtful labels.

This is the last image in this Labels Lie portrait series, but the campaign is far from over. Expect even more from #labelslie in the near future, and join us in making this a year of Second Chances.

Join us by sharing these images, creating conversations online and donating a tweet. We would also want to hear your honest and raw stories of how #labelslie in your life.

These are the images we’ve shared during the series.  We refuse to accept them.  We refuse to use them.

Thank you everyone for an amazing response to our Labels Lie caption request. We’ve looked your suggestions over and were moved by ALL of them. Beautiful, harsh, honest, and powerful.

We will reveal with the final image on Tuesday, along with the final label assembled from your responses.  Thank you again for being POTSC — we love you all!

Many of you have been with us from the beginning of the Labels Lie series, and you’ve been instrumental in sharing the message of rejecting labels.  Next week, we will feature the final image, and we wanted to give you an opportunity to contribute.  A screenshot of the image is posted below; search your heart and tell us what you think the caption should be, in the comment section below.

One last image … one last label to reject!