SECRET GRACE

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By Mohan Karulkar:

“If she hadn’t given me that hug, he would have turned right into me.”

Kristi Rendahl was saved by a hug. On her way home from an event, she missed a truck that crossed into her lane by seconds. The truck rolled into a ditch, and as she went to check on the driver, she thought about her own mother’s car-crash death … and the hug from earlier in the evening that saved her life by the few seconds it delayed her.

Call it God’s grace, or the butterfly effect, or pure coincidence. In any case, our lives are full of second chances we’ll never know about. Things that might have been, but weren’t, for whatever reason.

Life — even at it’s seeming worst — if full of secret grace. I do believe that some of it comes from God, but I also know that some of it comes from others who choose grace and never tell. People who make the lives of those around them better, with no credit and no strings.

I want my acts of grace to be like that — small things that add up to huge things.  Secret things that change lives.

What’s your story of secret grace?  What small thing has made a big difference in your life?

Have a story you want to share?  Email mohan@potsc.com to get the process started!


FALLING TO PIECES

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By Mark Hartman:

mark_hartmanMy name is Mark and I believe that being honest and letting Love in saved my life.

I am a husband, a father, and a musician. When I tell that to most people, they immediately ask “how do you make that work?”  Well, for the past 5 years I haven’t made it work. It’s not for lack trying though.

I felt like I had done everything in my power to sacrifice and push myself into success so I could provide for my family and give them everything I believed they deserved. I made my family make sacrifices too — sacrifices that they would have never made on their own. My kids had to sacrifice time with their daddy, and my wife had to sacrifice time with her husband.

I seemed to be always promising that one day it would all get better, but one day just never seemed to come. Every day that went by I felt like more of a failure.  I felt alone, and convinced myself that all the things that mattered to me would be better off if I was gone.

The first step to getting help was finally admitting to the people around me how I felt. Once I shared my pain with others, I started to see that I wasn’t alone. It was the first step — letting love in — and it saved my life.

I did it by writing this song … maybe it will do for you what it did for me:


CATCHING THE SHIP

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“That ship has sailed.”

Ever heard that?  It means you missed your chance.  Give up and move on, because the opportunity is over.

While it’s true that some situations do have an expiration date, it’s been my experience that most things end when you give up, not when something sails away.  It’s also my experience that only people who’s own ships have sailed actually say that to others.

Today, on #Noquitmonday, don’t be the one standing at the dock, watching your opportunity shrink in the distance.  Don’t believe the haters, don’t believe the fatalists.  Believe in yourself, and jump into the water.  Chase down that opportunity, and demand a second chance. I’m willing to bet that there’s still plenty of room on that boat.

And if not, at least you tried.  Maybe there’s another boat you’ll meet on the way back.

Ok, enough metaphors.  Share your story — when have you chased down the “lost” opportunity, and what happened?

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LIFE IS NOT A RESUME

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By Mohan Karulkar:

I review a lot of resumes for my job, and one thing I quickly realized is that I only need a few seconds to know if someone is who I’m looking for. I’m talking like 4 or 5 seconds. I’m usually looking for some specific skills and experiences. I’m looking for keywords.

It’s unfortunate, because I know how much time can go into crafting a resume. I often help friends with their’s, and I understand the experience of agonizing over phrasing and content. Yet, when it comes down to it … keywords.

Of course, you can’t just send me a list of keywords.  If it isn’t an actual resume,  I won’t read it.  If it isn’t well-organized and well-worded, I won’t read it.  No matter that I won’t read it anyway (keywords, remember?).  You have to put in the effort.

Sounds pretty hypocritical, right?  It’s not, I promise.  Organization and content do matter.  They’re  like the entry fee.  If your resume is a mess, you aren’t getting in the door.  If it looks good, you’re getting in.  I’m still just looking for keywords, but at least you have me looking.

Whether you realize it or not, you do this too.  You do it every day with people you meet.  How someone looks, how they sound, or even what their name is — all constitute an entry fee.  Once they’re in, you’ll listen to what they have to say.  But if something isn’t right about them, they could be Albert Einstein and you wouldn’t hear a word they said.

When it comes to resumes, I’m dealing with very specific needs and limited resources.  It makes sense for me to have an entree fee.  When it comes to everyday life, there shouldn’t be be one.  Grace — that quality that lets us see beyond people’s appearance — was never meant to be a limited resource.   But because it is, people go unheard, and their pains go unhealed.

Let’s stop treating each other like job candidates.  Let’s drop the entry fee, drop the keywords, and drop the pretense of grace as a limited resource. Instead of keeping each other out, let’s commit to a life that allows others in!

Are you with me?


SECOND CHANCE MARATHON

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The first step to a second chance is getting back up. That’s what #NoQuitMonday is all about.  Standing up, dusting yourself off, and getting back into the race. You can’t grasp a second chance, after all, if you give up.

That’s epecially true for people involved in this year’s Boston Marathon, which went from a scene of jubilation to horror in the blink of an eye. Three were killed, dozens were injurered, and hundreds of racers were stopped in their tracks as the marathon was cancelled.

For the runners who were unable to finish, Vermont is offering a special opportunity for a second chance. The Vermont Marathon is giving away 150 free entries to runners who were unable to complete the Boston marathon after the bombings.

The race director has stated:

“Our entire community comes together race weekend to create an atmosphere of celebration.  We’re opening our doors to anyone who was unable to finish Boston, so that they can realize the results of their training and continue the healing process.”

These kinds of second chances don’t happen by themselves. The runners must choose to keep running, and the Vermont organizers must choose to reach out a hand.  It’s an important lesson to remember — that we all play a part in each other’s second chances.

On this #noquitmonday, take a breath and get back up.  And if you’re already standing, reach out your hand and help someone to their feet.  You may be the first step to helping them heal.


FROM RETREAT TO REDEMPTION

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By Thomas Mark Zuniga:

People used to scare me. Not witches or Satanists or axe murderers.  Just normal everyday people, with no particular affinity for axes.

My massive people-fear started in middle school.  Guys taunted me for my acne. Pointed and laughed inches from my face.  Girls said I didn’t act manly enough. Too quiet, too timid, too different from all the others. Guys and girls alike simply ignored me, like the passersby from The Good Samaritan.

From homeroom to the locker room and every room in between, I retreated. When confronted about my pimples or personality, I bit my lip. I passively slid into the back row, back into my usual removal from teenage society.

483199880_38a659f512_n[1]Retreat, retreat, retreat – that was my daily mantra throughout middle school and high school.

For nineteen years, I lived in a relational bubble. It was excruciating to communicate or socialize with others on any level, let alone on deep, meaningful levels. I would only dare vent the messiest details of my life through the written conduits of my journals.

My shame. Lust. Pornography.

For nineteen years, vulnerability never entered my vocabulary. When I did finally reach a point of open confession, I turned once again to that faithful listening ear of a journal, holding nothing back. I spilled every messy detail along with countless tears.

And yet by the time I penned that last tear-crumpled page, my loneliness still remained – my struggles, my sins still chaining me to my bed while a house and planet full of people knew nothing of my downward plunge.

After nineteen long, isolated years, vulnerability was what I desperately needed.

I grabbed my blackened journal and carried it beyond the confines of a bedroom saturated with lust and loneliness. Heart racing, I stepped downstairs and handed my father my journal. Told both my parents to read my most recent entry because I couldn’t bear verbalizing such unutterable words myself.

Soon after, I cried the weepiest conversation of my life. Spoke broken words with my parents I’d never even said aloud in the presence of myself. That bedroom conversation would forever alter the course of my story. A game-changing conversation inducing a dramatic shift from how my life had always operated.

Retreat, retreat, retreat died, and a chilling new mantra prevailed.

Redemption, redemption, redemption.

In the seven years since that bedroom conversation, I’ve engaged in many subsequent vulnerable episodes: vulnerability at home, vulnerability at coffee shops, vulnerability in church conference rooms and vulnerability in the driver’s seat of my parked car at 2am.

With each cascading conversation of vulnerability, I’ve seen something beautiful.

I’ve seen life.

Life through relationships unmatched by anything pornography ever offered me.  Life the way it was fully meant to be lived – with courage.  Good life, never meant to be lived alone.

My vulnerability was breathed into life in order to breathe life into others.  Vulnerability is terrifying. It still makes me sweaty and nauseous seven years later. And yet with every heart-racing conversation, I’ve seen life: vulnerability crashing the shores of brokenness. Whether in bedrooms, coffee shops, or hotel parking lots in wee hours, when you finally awaken to the terrifying intoxicating waters of vulnerability, everything changes.

You see life. And everything you thought you knew about life becomes no more. Washed away and breathed anew.

Thomas blogs at http://thomasmarkzuniga.com.  Photo credit

 


POTSC WALL DECOR

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Interested in taking POTSC’s message of grace and forgiveness farther into your daily life?  Interested in making a statement about how your view second chances?  Check out our newest piece … a sweet wall item to let people know where you stand the second they walk in your door!  More details available at the store.

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NEW RELEASE: THE CATALYST LEADER

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Check out this new release from our friend Brad Lomenick.  The book is called The Catalyst Leader, and presents an in-depth look at Brad’s 20 years of leadership experience, including his last 10 years as the president and lead visionary of Catalyst, the well-known leadership movement.

As a special bonus, anyone who purchases the book this week, from April 14-19, can scan and send their receipt to catalystleaderbook@gmail.com to receive over $300 of leadership resources for FREE, all for simply purchasing the book during release week from any outlet, including the Catalyst store as well as other retail outlets. Purchase here.

 From the author:

The Catalyst Leader lays out the eight essentials for becoming a change maker. The traits that I believe one must develop in order to become a change maker, and ultimately a Catalyst Leader. I hope this book will provide practical leadership answers for a new generation of aspiring leaders who are looking for answers and solutions, and not just leadership theory. It’s a practical guide for leading now, and leading well, serving as a leadership handbook for the next generation of leaders in our country. The book presents the key essentials that I believe will define our generation’s ability to influence over the next 20-25 years, laying out what it means to be a Catalyst in this generation. The Catalyst Leader is packed with a combination of candid interviews with thought leaders, research with the core leadership community, and overall leadership best practices. A rising generation of leaders need to be equipped for the task of leadership.


THE SILENCE OF DIVORCE

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By Katie Amanek:

3908354646_fa233524bd_o[1]Nine months ago, I woke up alone, with a realization striking me across the face like the slap of a hand: my marriage had ended.  I was 27, my identity rooted in being a wife for the past six years. All of it unraveled in what seemed like an instant, and new thoughts stabbed at the pit of my stomach: the fear of my debt, the fear of losing my home, the fear of being alone.

My husband was leaving me for another woman, and I was completely lost. I felt like I had failed in the biggest task of my life: my marriage.  As a result of threats from my husband, I began to believe the falsehoods he repeated about my life: I wasn’t good enough, the divorce was my fault, and as a Christian woman, I had failed.

He asserted that in order to end the marriage peacefully, I would need to keep quiet. So, I did.  And in my silence, others were led to believe his falsehoods too.

After three months of silence, and believing the lies I had been told, I knew that I had to make a choice: would I continue to give in to fear, judgment, and the pain of being deserted?  Or would I choose to believe that God was bigger than my divorce?

Even though the stigma of divorce had scared me away from attending church, I went back anyway.  The fear of rejection weighed heavily, but what I found was hugs from friends I had not seen in months, words of support, and love – just for being present. No one pushed to find out what happened with my marriage, and no one needed to place any blame.

I had taken what felt like a scary risk, allowing myself to face possible rejection and further hurt by venturing out into the world as a newly single woman. Instead, a new strength emerged by sharing the hurt I had been through. Being able to speak candidly provided a new freedom: my joy was no longer dependent on anyone else’s acceptance. My voice was back.

We are all able to find second chances; it is our choice whether we take advantage of them. As I found strength, I realized the choice to reclaim my life was mine alone. Surrounded by friends to support me and faith to sustain me, I was no longer afraid of how my ex would react in response to defying his command to be silent.

Rather than finding an end upon the loss of my marriage, I found the start of a second chance – a second chance at happiness, at a future, and as the woman I was created to be. My past no longer defined me. I found my second chance in my darkest of places.

A second chance can happen anywhere.

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VENTING WITH KOBE

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warriors-lakers-basketball[1]On Friday evening,  Kobe Bryant, superstar guard for the LA Lakers, ruptured his Achilles tendon during a basketball game. It’s a serious, potentially career-ending injury.  Later that night, Kobe posted a lengthy post on Facebook, essentially venting about his devastating injury.  The post is full of raw emotion — frustration, fear, anger, and confusion.

I’ve never torn my Achilles tendon, but I can relate to those emotions.  I can’t say I’d handle it any better, although I can bet I might handle it a lot worse.

Yes, Kobe has had issues, both on and off the court.  No, he’s not perfect.  But neither am I, which is about all the perspective I need to hear someone out.

And what sticks with me most about his post is that it ends on both a practical and a hopeful note.  Yes, I hope to come back, but no, that day isn’t today.  

In the end, isn’t that pretty much all any of us can say when it comes to major setbacks?  You get back up, work hard, hope for the best, and make the most of whatever future comes your way.

We’re rooting for you Kobe.  If you didn’t know it already, welcome to People of the Second Chance.

Here’s a copy of Kobe’s Facebook post:

This is such BS! All the training and sacrifice just flew out the window with one step that I’ve done millions of times! The frustration is unbearable. The anger is rage. Why the hell did this happen ?!? Makes no damn sense. Now I’m supposed to come back from this and be the same player Or better at 35?!? How in the world am I supposed to do that? I have NO CLUE. Do I have the consistent will to overcome this thing? Maybe I should break out the rocking chair and reminisce on the career that was. Maybe this is how my book ends.

Maybe Father Time has defeated me…Then again maybe not! It’s 3:30am, my foot feels like dead weight, my head is spinning from the pain meds and I’m wide awake. Forgive my Venting but what’s the purpose of social media if I won’t bring it to you Real No Image?? Feels good to vent, let it out. To feel as if THIS is the WORST thing EVER! Because After ALL the venting, a real perspective sets in. There are far greater issues/challenges in the world then a torn achilles. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, find the silver lining and get to work with the same belief, same drive and same conviction as ever.

One day, the beginning of a new career journey will commence. Today is NOT that day.
“If you see me in a fight with a bear, prey for the bear”. Ive always loved that quote. Thats “mamba mentality” we don’t quit, we don’t cower, we don’t run. We endure and conquer.

I know it’s a long post but I’m Facebook Venting LOL. Maybe now I can actually get some sleep and be excited for surgery tomorrow. First step of a new challenge.
Guess I will be Coach Vino the rest of this season. I have faith in my teammates. They will come thru.

Thank you for all your prayers and support. Much Love Always.
Mamba Out